Angry I am not, sad and disappointed. Yes! I know waiting another month is not going to change anything about our circumstance. I spent some time really concentrating on what I want in life. I have faith, a lot of faith. I know following my heart will offer opportunities I could never imagine.
I want to live a beautiful life with my husband. I want that more than anything in the world. I have waited so long to find this man. The one person in my whole world that I am myself around. That finds my authentic self (sometime eccentric) wonderful. We have so much fun together and when he touches me I know, I mean I really know that he loves me. I can feel it.
I was reading one of my favorite fertility blogger latest post. She has over a dozen fertility blogs that she follows listed in her side bar. I went through and read the latest 3-5 post of all of them. I found a running theme through all of them. A majority of the ladies were angry.
I know that a blog is a personal and safe place to vent. I know it is painful to have surgeries, awful drugs, IUI's and multiple IVF's that end in heart break. So many of these women talked of distant husbands, breakdown in communication, feeling alone, having no one to talk to, breaking the bank, asking for divorce and running off to a foreign country. General fighting all the time and being crazy emotional from the drugs.
I am always on a the look out for a good blog to follow. It has to touch me on a personal level. I want to feel emotionally invested in the blogger a little bit and care about their journey. I didn't get that from any of these blogs. Right now I follow two fertility blogs. Two! These two gals have handled their infertility with grace and I want to be like that.
I am so bored with infertility right now. There is so many things I want to do right now and it does not include watching for fertility signs, wondering what every little twinge in my body means, fantasizing about the baby room and figuring out how to pay for it all.
On a lighter note I would like to welcome little Christine Angela into the world. Brennen gave birth to a little girl in a stable (manger) because there was no room at the Hotel (Inn) on Bones last night. Booth of course was stoic and brave. I can't help but feel like I am falling in love with my own new born every time a see a big baby covered in strawberry jelly being born on T.V.
I want to live a beautiful life with my husband. I want that more than anything in the world. I have waited so long to find this man. The one person in my whole world that I am myself around. That finds my authentic self (sometime eccentric) wonderful. We have so much fun together and when he touches me I know, I mean I really know that he loves me. I can feel it.
I was reading one of my favorite fertility blogger latest post. She has over a dozen fertility blogs that she follows listed in her side bar. I went through and read the latest 3-5 post of all of them. I found a running theme through all of them. A majority of the ladies were angry.
I know that a blog is a personal and safe place to vent. I know it is painful to have surgeries, awful drugs, IUI's and multiple IVF's that end in heart break. So many of these women talked of distant husbands, breakdown in communication, feeling alone, having no one to talk to, breaking the bank, asking for divorce and running off to a foreign country. General fighting all the time and being crazy emotional from the drugs.
I am always on a the look out for a good blog to follow. It has to touch me on a personal level. I want to feel emotionally invested in the blogger a little bit and care about their journey. I didn't get that from any of these blogs. Right now I follow two fertility blogs. Two! These two gals have handled their infertility with grace and I want to be like that.
I am so bored with infertility right now. There is so many things I want to do right now and it does not include watching for fertility signs, wondering what every little twinge in my body means, fantasizing about the baby room and figuring out how to pay for it all.
On a lighter note I would like to welcome little Christine Angela into the world. Brennen gave birth to a little girl in a stable (manger) because there was no room at the Hotel (Inn) on Bones last night. Booth of course was stoic and brave. I can't help but feel like I am falling in love with my own new born every time a see a big baby covered in strawberry jelly being born on T.V.
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