Age 19 , working at the time at a local gas station as a fuel transfer technician. That is the fancy term for gas attendant. At the time the station was managed and run by a bunch of girls. We were all friends and had a ball working there.
I was sitting in the office looking out across the street. I could see my moms car in the Safeway parking lot across the street. She was doing her weekly grocery shopping. I was suddenly struck with a horrible pain in my stomach. I twisted in agony unable to get any relief. I thought I might have to go get my mom to take me to the hospital. At the moment I was unable to stand up straight, was by myself and scared.
The pain passed after a minute or so. I was still tender but able to function. I was on guard from here on out, that this could happen to me again at any time.
It did happen again, any time without warning and with no real pattern that I could figure. Once or twice a year maybe. Sometime I would feel it start to happen and then It would stop.
Years later I explained these sudden excruciating pains as muscle spasms. That is the only thing I could compare it to.
At 19 with no real plans for the future. I watched my friends and acquaintances go off to college or start their families. I was really lost during these young years. I tried to find myself in someone else. Then tried and tried and tried for the next 12 years.
The good thing that came from this relationship is that now I can recognized a Malignant Narcissist Sociopath coming from a mile a way....... and he did not want to have children with me. It took me four years to manipulated myself safely out of this relationship. That is another story though. A good one too!
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