Well meaning people say it all the time. If you just stop thinking about it and relax you will get pregnant. I would fume a little every time someone would say that to me. It insinuates that you are doing something wrong. If you could just do everything right it would work this time, this month.
That is just what I have done. I have accepted that our lives together will be childless. I even see people with kids and sometimes think I am glad we aren't them. I am embracing the pending grandchild and super excited to have other peoples little babies in our lives. I am excited to be saving our money for our dream house. Planning my own little homestead with garden and maybe a bee hive. I put the baby names and baby room ideas in the archives and went for a hike.
So when cycle day 29 came around I didn't think any thing of it. I am cramping and tired and swallowing magnesium. Day 30, I am cramping and tired and swallowing magnesium, Day 31, I am cramping and tired and swallowing magnesium. Thinking I have been working too hard painting all weekend to get my cycle.
Maybe I need a rest for it to kick start. Day 32, I go to work get some rest and think to myself I have never had a cycle longer than 31 days before. I am wondering if these herbs are causing a delayed cycle or maybe it is menopause.
Day 33, I take a pregnancy test. I ask Destry to check it after three minutes while I jump in the shower. I have not even finished dropping the four drops of urine in the reservoir of my dollar store test when I see it. The second line!
I grab my test as Destry announces he just set the alarm for three minutes and cry, "You don't have to wait". I am trying to show it to him and he is trying to get to some good light and maybe his reading glasses. We are hugging and I am crying and he is smiling and his eyes are sparking bright blue like they do when he is really happy. In shock I get in the shower and just shutter and cry.
I can't figure out what is going on. How did this happen. I accuse my acupuncturist of being a witchy women. I call my OB and demand a same day appointment even though she is not in the office today. I compromise on an appointment two weeks out. My acupuncturist is surprised and tells me not to take my herbs.
I am sitting here feeling just as I did last week and realize pregnancy does not feel like anything. Thinking about waiting three months to tell family is like torture. I am very proud of my body. After all the Letrozole and Clomid and IUI's my body decided to to it all by itself with my husbands two week old sperm. Against all odds I am cautiously optimistic.
I call my sister to tell her. I chicken out. I promised Destry we would tell our family together. He can't wait to see everyone's face when we tell them and either can I.
That is just what I have done. I have accepted that our lives together will be childless. I even see people with kids and sometimes think I am glad we aren't them. I am embracing the pending grandchild and super excited to have other peoples little babies in our lives. I am excited to be saving our money for our dream house. Planning my own little homestead with garden and maybe a bee hive. I put the baby names and baby room ideas in the archives and went for a hike.
So when cycle day 29 came around I didn't think any thing of it. I am cramping and tired and swallowing magnesium. Day 30, I am cramping and tired and swallowing magnesium, Day 31, I am cramping and tired and swallowing magnesium. Thinking I have been working too hard painting all weekend to get my cycle.
Maybe I need a rest for it to kick start. Day 32, I go to work get some rest and think to myself I have never had a cycle longer than 31 days before. I am wondering if these herbs are causing a delayed cycle or maybe it is menopause.
Day 33, I take a pregnancy test. I ask Destry to check it after three minutes while I jump in the shower. I have not even finished dropping the four drops of urine in the reservoir of my dollar store test when I see it. The second line!
I grab my test as Destry announces he just set the alarm for three minutes and cry, "You don't have to wait". I am trying to show it to him and he is trying to get to some good light and maybe his reading glasses. We are hugging and I am crying and he is smiling and his eyes are sparking bright blue like they do when he is really happy. In shock I get in the shower and just shutter and cry.
I can't figure out what is going on. How did this happen. I accuse my acupuncturist of being a witchy women. I call my OB and demand a same day appointment even though she is not in the office today. I compromise on an appointment two weeks out. My acupuncturist is surprised and tells me not to take my herbs.
I am sitting here feeling just as I did last week and realize pregnancy does not feel like anything. Thinking about waiting three months to tell family is like torture. I am very proud of my body. After all the Letrozole and Clomid and IUI's my body decided to to it all by itself with my husbands two week old sperm. Against all odds I am cautiously optimistic.
I call my sister to tell her. I chicken out. I promised Destry we would tell our family together. He can't wait to see everyone's face when we tell them and either can I.
I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy for you!! Dad told me he cried but left out the part about crying enough for 10 people!
ReplyDeleteI loved reading the story of how you found out you were pregnant--beautiful. Thank you for sharing. <3
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